Tuesday, July 27, 2010

content warning

it's not likely I'll ever post porn (in fact, unless it's hilarious, I won't bother, and if I did it would come withe a NSFW warning). but I have a terrible propensity for swearing, especially if I'm irritated, and I like to write when I'm irritated. thus, the content warning. which I'm thinking of giving the axe.

hope that doesn't disappoint anyone. heh.

speaking of swearing, I saw the awesome and hilarious doug stanhope this weekend, and laughed my face into total soreness. there were so many good bits that I couldn't even commit them to memory.

apparently his shows are a crapshoot though, the last time he was in town, he got WASTED before he went on, and a good friend of mine described the show as being "like watching someone completely self-destruct on stage". luckily, our show was stellar. he killed.

BLORT!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I don't know why

...but I find this fucking hilarious:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/413505

I've never seen a nick manning porno (that I know of anyway), but now I'll have to check it out for the yellings.

TAKE YOUR FUCKING!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

unexpected awesomeness: the coup

huzzah!

I'd heard the coup before (not live) and quite liked a few of their songs, but wouldn't say they were one of my favourite bands of their genre (hip hop, if you didn't know). boots riley, mighty frontman, had opened for tom morello and we caught him a couple of times. his acoustic versions of coup songs were soooo good, and the street sweeper social club stuff is great as well.

then I saw the coup live.

as a live act, they lean way more heavily to the funk side of things, with a bit of rock even thrown in. boots riley is an absolutely solid performer, female vocalist silk-e is amazing, and the rest of the band, especially the bassist, were incredible. they were engaging, fun, intense, and totally impressed me. absolutely impossible to stand still watching them. even songs that I didn't care for on disc sounded amazing. and the crowd was completely digging them, myself included!

HIGHLY RECOMMEND. if you like funk music at all, jump at the chance to see the coup!

Monday, July 12, 2010

unexpected disappointment: steel panther

I hate to say it.

let me preface this by saying I'd seen them 4 times already, and was totally impressed (obviously, since I kept going back). they are an awesome live band/comedy act, and usually a good time is had by all.

not this past time.

they played at the mighty commodore ballroom, fantastic venue. so that is always a plus.

my problems with the show:

1. songs - they played my two least favourite songs (eyes of a panther, and stripper girl). they also didn't play girl from oklahoma, which is a fricking awesome song and always goes over well.
they also played don't stop believing, and while the mid-20s set lost their fucking minds, I was annoyed. JOURNEY IS NOT METAL. that age range loves them because they're too young to remember what a lame douchebag steve perry was.

2. banter - they recycle jokes here and there, sure, but usually there's more off the cuff hilarity, mostly courtesy of satchel. it was lacking a bit this night.

3. girls - having them up on stage for a song or two is fine. but for most of the show? blocking our view of the band with their lame dancing? fuuuuck. like, we did not pay $36 to see your thoroughly mediocre asses up there, flailing about like a bunch of assholes. get. off. the. stage. they didn't even all show their boobs. not that I care personally, but that's typically why they get girls up there. I really hope they kick them all off sooner next time.

4. the crowd: generally, steel panther shows are happy places to be. not this time. we were in a pocket of the cuntiest people of all time. totally entitled, annoying, bitchy chicks from pillar to post in our section (except us of course, because we're like...SOOOOO great, hah). anyway, it was really annoying, and definitely took the shine off of being there at all.

5. cameras: there were huge cameras in front, impeding the view almost as much as the trampy idiots on stage.

I HATE giving them a bad review, but this was just not a good night. everyone is entitled to an off night, I guess. I'm still going to see them twice more this summer. I just hope it's better than this one.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

ok, so I suck as a blogger

it's true.

I have multiple blogs hanging out in cyberspace, never to be updated again. well, mostly. it's like I get a rush of new energy to write and clear my mental cobwebs by writing ridiculous crap, but of course I CAN'T go back to the old blog, goodness no. so I start new blogs, get into it, crap happens, I lose interest/get weird guilt associations with not blogging "properly" and that's that.

the other problem is that I think of every good possible thing to write while driving, then forget pretty quickly. note to self: use voice notes on iphone and stop being a dick.

anyway.

so here's how I end up giving myself a manicure (or rather, just applying nail polish):

1. forget to do anything with cuticles
2. start painting. notice cuticles. get annoyed, but talk myself into just accepting that my cuticles like to come up the nail bed a bit, and it's not a horrid deformity that people will judge me over (except manicurists. fuck you guys).
3. get nail polish on cuticles. grit teeth.
4. immediately get an itchy head. nick newly polished nail grabbing a chopstick/pen/etc to scratch head with. swear.
5. get annoyed, wonder why I bothered to paint my nails in the first place since I cook a lot and don't want polish chips in everything I cook.
6. erroneously think nails are dry. scratch head.
7. notice hair prints on nails. hate life.
8. add one more coat of nail polish, thinking this will fix things.
9. realize that gummy nails won't dry.
10. suddenly have to pee like my life depends on it. still with wet nails.
11. swear off fingernail polish.

it's this or a variant thereof. without fail though, wet nails cause my head to itch.

Friday, July 2, 2010

yay work

so here I am, rather pointlessly at work. alone. in the parking lot, feeling genuine resentment over getting up sufficiently early to be here on time, playing the role of Responsible Adult. nobody is here, and now I look like a lurking creep, hanging out in front of an elementary school.

I know I lied and said that I'd post about why getting older sucks, but I can't be arsed to post it from my phone.

speaking of which, I am, for the short rest of this post, going to allow every spelling correction it offers, just for shits and giggles.

Anyhow. Timing is key when working in this area of town, as the highway is a major route for huge horrid trucks. More later.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

now what?

firstly, happy canada day! canada, how I love you.

now then.

last night I went to see a band I haven't seen (or really liked) since I was maybe 21 or so (far too many moons ago indeed). econoline crush. the vancouver music scene was booming in the 90s, and these dudes were all over it. seriously...I ran into the singer so often at so many different shows that he knew me by name. which was pointless, really.

anyhoo.

so we saw them last night at venue, which I like more than 95% of the chachi douchey hellhole bars in the area. they came out and...well, it's just not the same. the crowd dug it, the singer was into it, etc, but...time passes, and some people get strange botox. I'm just saying.

what I don't remember from their earlier performances, when they were a bit more of an industrial act, was the faces the singer made. my bff summed it up succinctly by saying it was "weird and hard to watch". no argument here. he would stick his (rather long) tongue out and wave it about lasciviously. GROSS. and odd pelvic thrusts at odd times. it was the more socially acceptable version of himself being up there with his dick and one ball hanging out of his pants. that might have been easier to ignore and not be offended by, actually. but STILL...gah! it was distracting.

that said, they sounded alright. we didn't pay to get in, otherwise I'd have been home trying to sleep off my insanely sore neck (which didn't work once I finally got to bed).

next post: why getting old SUCKS.