Tuesday, July 6, 2010

ok, so I suck as a blogger

it's true.

I have multiple blogs hanging out in cyberspace, never to be updated again. well, mostly. it's like I get a rush of new energy to write and clear my mental cobwebs by writing ridiculous crap, but of course I CAN'T go back to the old blog, goodness no. so I start new blogs, get into it, crap happens, I lose interest/get weird guilt associations with not blogging "properly" and that's that.

the other problem is that I think of every good possible thing to write while driving, then forget pretty quickly. note to self: use voice notes on iphone and stop being a dick.


so here's how I end up giving myself a manicure (or rather, just applying nail polish):

1. forget to do anything with cuticles
2. start painting. notice cuticles. get annoyed, but talk myself into just accepting that my cuticles like to come up the nail bed a bit, and it's not a horrid deformity that people will judge me over (except manicurists. fuck you guys).
3. get nail polish on cuticles. grit teeth.
4. immediately get an itchy head. nick newly polished nail grabbing a chopstick/pen/etc to scratch head with. swear.
5. get annoyed, wonder why I bothered to paint my nails in the first place since I cook a lot and don't want polish chips in everything I cook.
6. erroneously think nails are dry. scratch head.
7. notice hair prints on nails. hate life.
8. add one more coat of nail polish, thinking this will fix things.
9. realize that gummy nails won't dry.
10. suddenly have to pee like my life depends on it. still with wet nails.
11. swear off fingernail polish.

it's this or a variant thereof. without fail though, wet nails cause my head to itch.

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